By Andy Brack, editor and publisher | With all of America’s turmoil, you might feel discouraged. Worn down. Like there’s nothing you can do that will really make a difference because the system is so big that whatever you do just won’t matter.
Not true. You can make a difference. But you might want to think a little closer to home. More than three dozen Facebook friends this week offered advice on ways to cure feelings that that you can’t be agents of change.
Say “please,” “thank you” and “hello” to strangers, one high school buddy shared. “Open and hold doors, help senior citizens with shopping and rides, volunteer for children’s programs and sports. Smile and have a positive attitude. Set a good example and let others see it.”
Retired advertising executive Peter Wertimer of Charleston added, “Volunteer to work pro bono for a worthy cause of some kind. Think about someone or something other than yourself or your own complicated life for awhile.”
A Columbia friend added, “This seems so simple, but I try to always compliment strangers as much as possible.”
Another guy chimed in, “Say ‘good morning’ to your spouse, coworkers and strangers. Hold the door for people. Ask people how things are going and see if you can help them in any way. Be a friend.”
In other words, engage with people you don’t know or who don’t look like you. Acknowledge their existence and show we’re all in this together. Brighten someone’s day.
Or simply inspire them, as one former state representative shared: “I told a little Latino girl this morning I hoped she would become President of the United States one day,”
West Ashley carpenter Michael Kaynard saw an employee in a big box store give a hug to a co-worker — and then to him. “Everyone had a big smile on their face. This act probably made a big impact on how we all felt the whole day.”
This is not huge, systemic change, but it makes people in communities feel more connected.
Other friends offer suggestions for intentional acts of kindness, as evidenced by one Atlanta runner: “I bring a reusable bag and EVERY DAY pick up 30 to 40 bottles and cans off the street and get them back into secondary use.”
“Ride local transit,” Mount Pleasant lawyer William Hamilton suggests. “You’ll meet people and find new ways to connect in your community. It’s cheap and fun.”
Tom Johnson, executive director of Magnolia Plantation and Gardens in Charleston, said a lot of good never gets reported. His attraction, for example, is responsible for about $500,000 of related “giving” to the community each year through free tickets to people who donate blood or collect food, and free memberships to those who adopt pets. “I bet a lot of other companies are contributing more to the common good than we are aware of. Bad stuff makes the news.”
Others intentionally “pay it forward” by paying anonymously for something for someone.
“I pay for person’s fast food in line behind me in the drive through,” one college friend explained. “Give a $20 to the cashier at the grocery store to help offset the bill of the person behind me l and walk away quickly so I get no credit. Pay for young couple’s dinner at nicer restaurants when it looks like a stretch for them.”
Several people suggested becoming a guardian ad litem — a legal advocate for children in trouble. There’s some legal training involved, but it’s hugely rewarding, former reporter Bill Steiger of Tampa, Fla., shared: “The best part about being a guardian ad litem … is the chance to make a one-on-one positive difference in a child’s life. Yes, I could give money to a charity or maybe serve meals to the homeless — all great gestures — but to sit down every month with a child and form a bond and help them solve problems, or just be a friend at a very traumatic time in their lives, is truly special.“
Columbia public relations executive Ashley Hunter has been a guardian for 15 years. “It is hard; it is emotional many times. But some days, you also see a happy ending for these children and these families.”
Pay it forward. Commit random acts of kindness. Or just be kind, intentionally.
- Andy Brack’s latest book, “We Can Do Better, South Carolina,” is now available in paperback and for Kindle via Amazon.
- Have a comment? Send to: feedback@statehousereport.com.
We Can Do Better, South Carolina!
At the root of the New Testament is love. The Beatles sang “All you need is love.” Victor Frankl thought “Love and being in love are what matters most.” Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl found that even in the direst events, life was still expecting something of him, so finding meaning in each moment available is to be human. How do the surviving family members of all the gunned down victims go on?
Our own experience of being human is of far greater importance than pleasure and the pursuit of happiness. It is human nature to get used to anything, even if we complain, cry or yell. So accept the hand you are playing from, resist your environment’s negative influence, seek hope and meaning in your contemplated acts of the future, as death will come soon enough, sums up Frankl meaning of life.
Frankl noticed that the prisoners who were more likely to survive had rich inner lives, future-oriented goals, sought meaning in their suffering or despite it. A life centered on meaning is proven to enhance best overall well-being and life satisfaction, as well making us physically and mentally healthier.
Human beings cannot avoid knowing they are suffering in some part, but we can choose how to cope with it, by finding meaning in it, and moving forward with renewed purpose. We can get used to anything so strive purposively do it, resist your environment’s influences, seek hope and meaning in the future, death will come soon enough. Love and being in love are what matters most so seek after it.
Choice gives insight into meaning to the suffering we feel by actively seeking to redirect this awareness into personal triumphs of the acceptance of our own strivings. Use guilt to guide future decisions to make amends and use the fact that we’ll die one day to inspire us to act responsibly and make good decisions for ourselves and others now and future moments.
Frankl saw that those who sought a happier life were “takers” while those with meaning were “givers.” Givers to others achieved more and were more content with their existence and had greater happiness. Meaning gives us the strength to embrace life’s sufferings no matter the events.
To brighten someone’s day is the intention to give meaning for yourself and to that person. It is hard; it is emotional many times. So what! That is our human lives. Live it well with meaning filled with small acts of kindness and greater acts of love.
Viktor Frankl, wrote Man’s Search for Meaning (1946), [Translated by Ilse Lasch, Beacon Press, Boston, 2006.